


I'm not gay.

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bold of you to assume I edited this, Don't copy to another site, It's not pedophilia because of time travel, M/M, Polyamory, Slow Burn, Time Travel, Two Euruses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-09 04:05:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18909199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: This is a rewrite of something I orphaned, so if this seems familiar that's probably why.John isn't gay. He can't be. But his soulmate is male. Has the universe fucked up, or will they get together?





	1. Sherlock Is Very Gay So Molly Is Sad

Everyone had a soulmate. One platonic, branded on their arm in black; and one romantic, branded in their arm in red. Or they at least had one of the two. People without any were rare.

 

Sherlock was not rare. He had his platonic soulmate, and though he had yet to meet them, he had a romantic soulmate. But his platonic soulmate was Irene Adler, the school’s player. Currently they sat outside the school, smoking.

 

“Sherl?”

 

“Mmm?”

 

“Your words sent me so much stress. I wasn’t even flirting.” Irene lifted her arm, showing him the black words on her arm. “Sorry, I’m gay.” She had no romantic soulmate.

 

“So did yours. Platonic soulmates making us doubt our sexualities till we met them united?” He raised his cigarette. She tapped hers against his, making some ash fall to the ground.

 

“Yep.”

 

Sherlock’s black soulmark, “I’m a lesbian” was hidden on his am under his signature coat. He hated his romantic soulmate. “Here, use mine.” Underneath, in smaller letters: “No! I’m not gay.” He hated it.

 

“Hi Sherlock.” a timid voice came from nearby, where Molly Hooper stood, casting concerned glances at Irene.

 

“Hey, Molly.”

 

“Hey, beautiful.” Irene cast her a smile.

 

“Sorry, I’m not gay.”

 

“You might change your mind, sweetheart.”

  
“Irene.” Sherlock warned. “Stop torturing the straights.”

 

She sighed. “Fine.” She took another drag from her cigarette.

 

“Don’t you have a soulmate anyway?” Molly asked. Irene raised her eyebrow and her arm, showing off her one soulmark.

 

“Only a platonic one. Sherlock.”

 

Molly looked at Sherlock. “You’re gay?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Molly walked off, and Irene started laughing. “Ohmigod Sherl, she has such a crush on you!”

 

“Really?”

 

“God, you are hopeless with feelings. Yes she has a crush on you.”

 

Sherlock sighed. “Oh my god.”


	2. Little Eurus We Don't Have 16 Year Old Eurus Yet

It was science class when Sherlock stood up and asked loudly if he could borrow someone’s phone. Not remembering that his soulmark was “can I borrow someone’s phone”, he handed Sherlock his phone.

 

“Here, use mine.” Sherlock raised his eyebrow and showed John his soulmark as he took John’s phone. “No! I’m not gay!” John blurted out as soon as he saw it.

 

“How do you know!” Irene yelled at him. “Fucker.”

 

“Miss Adler. Hallway.” their teacher said.

 

“Yeah… no.” Irene grabbed Sherlock’s arm and dragged him out of the class, out of the school, and too Sherlock’s house. “Mycroft!”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Sherlock met his soulmate! But his soulmate isn’t gay.”

 

“Bi, then?”

 

“No, straight.” Irene sighed. “And he won’t date Sherlock.” She flopped down on the couch with a sigh. “Get rid of him please.”

 

“No, that’s illegal.”

 

“Like you care.” Sherlock said, flopping down next to Irene.

 

“I do, no matter how much it seems I do not. And if it is any consolation at all, John will come around. My soulmark is, after all ‘Hi, I’m Greg, John’s friend. You know John right? He’s Sherlock’s soulmate!” I doubt Greg, whoever he may be, would refer to John as your soulmate if he didn’t come around.”

 

“Or we could kill Sherlock’s soulmate.” Eurus said. Irene flinched.

 

“When did you get here!” She asked Eurus.

 

“Five minutes ago.” She gave a sweet smile.

 

“Keep her away from me.” Irene hissed. “She bites.”

 

“What?” Sherlock said.

 

“She bites!” Irene said. “She’s bit me before.”

Mycroft sighed before turning to face his younger sister. “No, Eurus, we aren’t going to kill Sherlock’s soulmate. That’s illegal and immoral.”

“So?”

Mycroft frowned. “Go draw Eurus.”

“Fine.” She stormed up the stairs to her room.

“She doesn’t have matches in there, does she?” Sherlock asked, concerned for everyone’s life.

“No, I took them away. Now shoo. I have important government work to get to.” Mycroft sat in his chair and took out his laptop as Irene and Sherlock went up to his room.


	3. Tight pants

“I met my soulmate.” John groaned, flopping down next to Greg.

 

“Oh? What’s her name?”

 

“It’s a he.”

 

“You’re bi?”

 

“No, I’m straight. The universe fucked up.”

 

“Kay.” Unlike the others, Greg didn’t question it. He didn’t care. If his best friend said he was straight, he was straight. 

 

“How do you know you like him?”

 

“Well…” He paused, hesitation sharpening in his voice.

 

“Well?”

 

“You know how I was looking for my soul mark? Greg nodded along to what John was saying. John took another sharp breath before spitting out the truth. 

 

“I ran into a man. He was wearing the tightest pants- ” Greg stifled a laugh. Tight pants had always been the death of him. Especially since he was bisexual, tight pants enhanced everyone in his mind. 

 

“Wow..”

 

“Let me finish..”

 

“Sorry..”

 

“Well, that was how I first noticed him…”

 

“Go on…”

 

“He asked for a phone, and me, forgetting that was my soulmark, gave him mine. And… that was his soulmark” Greg, listening, grew a bit somber.

“And.. it was the moment I had been waiting for.”

 

“But he’s a he.”

 

“EXACTLY! So the universe fucked me over and now, I’m going to drink bleach.”

“John!”

“KIDDING!” He walked out of the room, still somewhat cursing at mother nature, jesus, or some shit. Greg just looked forward at the beige wall, contemplating everything that just happened. 

His soulmark was only one word. “Um…” At least John knew who his soulmate was. Greg might never find his. Did um even count as a word?

“Greg!” John shrieked from the kitchen, where hopefully he wasn’t drinking bleach. Greg got up and ran to his friend, who was staring at his arm in horror. “He’s my platonic soulmate too!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend Anderson wrote the tight pants bit, so that was her. And the bleach part.


	4. IMPORTANT UPDATE

Dear readers (this is in Cecil Palmer's voice),

 _I'm not gay._ is going on hiatus. Why? you ask. Because I am writing this on my school computer, on my school account. While I can access my school account on my parent's computer if I want to, signing into ao3 would lead them to find my account. Do not trust them on my account. So, dear readers,  _I'm not gay._ is going on hiatus over the summer. And now: the weather.

[The Weather](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dsh0x7Z1f9c)


End file.
